My Story
As far back as I can remember I felt "different." Maybe some of you can relate to this.
These feelings showed up early in my childhood. I didn't fully understand my parents, or siblings. This is really a hard thing to put into words. It was as though my perception, or experience of life didn't jive up with what I felt they were reflecting back to me through their words, reactions, and interpretation of life. Looking back I now realize I had a very rich internal life. In other words, there was a lot going on inside me.
My feelings in no way negated the deep love, and profound respect I had for my family, then or now. My journey with them has lead me to understand myself better than if I were born into a family who "got me." They are a part of my story, and I am so glad we chose one another for this lifetime ... they're the best, and they are all very, very loved.
At the age of 6, my parents divorced. Most children somehow feel responsible for this event. I never felt any of this. Not one morsel. I always knew it was all about them, and not about me. This is what I've come to learn is "knowing." Metaphysicians call it claircognizance. This is one of my Divine gifts. This understanding has served me well. Through many of my life's challenges, heartaches, losses, and disappointments I was able to see a bigger picture, and grasp the bigger lessons (finding miracles and magic in the mess).
At the age of 5, I started kindergarten and instinctually knew my new teacher didn't like me, but I had no idea why. I knew deep inside I was a "good" girl, and this confused me. I could feel her negative energy, but went on with the joys of finger painting, circle time, and recess. I also felt this same negative energy from my pediatric doctor. In both cases, I knew it was about them, and not me.
It was also at this tender age that a neighbor invited me to church. This was my first introduction to God, and did I love it! I soaked up that love like a sponge. It felt so good to my heart and soul. I studied the Bible and went to church many times a week. In the meantime, I still felt like an outsider to my family and classmates, often being teased about being a "goody two-shoe." This was a confusing message. I felt like a good and kind person, and couldn't see how being good was a bad thing. I quickly learned to keep my thoughts to myself. I didn't dare reveal that special part of myself (that sacred place) where deeper ideas, thoughts about life, God, and my personal internal journey lived. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, except at church, so I spent years enveloped in the joy I found when I attended.
Then, in my mid-20's, I chose to step away from the church. I felt the church's dogma no longer fit in with the God I knew deep in my heart and soul. I was asking a lot of questions about life at this point; mind you, this was an internal dialogue. Most of those around me knew very little about the nature of my thoughts. Not long after this I was introduced to the works of Brian Weiss, Neale Donald-Walsh, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Jane Roberts, Depak Chopra, Glenda Greene, Iyanla Vanzant (and, so many, many more). This new information opened up a whole new world for me. What these authors shared about God (aka, The Universe, Source Energy, All-That-Is, etc.), was the God I knew in my heart-of-hearts. I wept at the "homecoming" I felt in these writings. I celebrated that others also shared my privately held, deep truth ... that God was and is Love. Period.
This marked a huge turning-point for me, and my journey into personal transformation took off. I could not read, use the practices taught, or work on areas of my life that needed healing and restoration enough. I became obsessed with transformation! Obsession is a bit of a strong word ... but, it well conveys my passion for finding peace, clarity and more joy through self-inquiry, study and personal growth. Mind you, I am mothering three, small children by this time, working 40+ hours, and commuting each week. Personal time is at a premium, but my questions of life are constant, so I the find time to read, or listen to audio tapes in between parenting, working and the duties of a household.
Fast-forward ... my children are now adults, and my parental responsibilities have been fulfilled. I am now a supportive partner in their adult journeys, and I'm ever-so grateful we are close, and very good friends. Now it is my time ... time to do the work I feel strongly "called" to do. Fortunately, age has taught me to feel less like an outsider, as well as care less what others think. I am honoring my soul's calling. I am bravely blazing my own trail. This does take guts, but I am certain the pay-off is deeply satisfying. As I step up and own my Divine gifts ... gifts of intuition (claircognizance), insight (clairvoyance), communication, teaching, and using the healing energies as Reiki Practitioner ... as well as a huge heart for people as a life coach and writer, I hope to inspire others to do the same in their own lives.
These feelings showed up early in my childhood. I didn't fully understand my parents, or siblings. This is really a hard thing to put into words. It was as though my perception, or experience of life didn't jive up with what I felt they were reflecting back to me through their words, reactions, and interpretation of life. Looking back I now realize I had a very rich internal life. In other words, there was a lot going on inside me.
My feelings in no way negated the deep love, and profound respect I had for my family, then or now. My journey with them has lead me to understand myself better than if I were born into a family who "got me." They are a part of my story, and I am so glad we chose one another for this lifetime ... they're the best, and they are all very, very loved.
At the age of 6, my parents divorced. Most children somehow feel responsible for this event. I never felt any of this. Not one morsel. I always knew it was all about them, and not about me. This is what I've come to learn is "knowing." Metaphysicians call it claircognizance. This is one of my Divine gifts. This understanding has served me well. Through many of my life's challenges, heartaches, losses, and disappointments I was able to see a bigger picture, and grasp the bigger lessons (finding miracles and magic in the mess).
At the age of 5, I started kindergarten and instinctually knew my new teacher didn't like me, but I had no idea why. I knew deep inside I was a "good" girl, and this confused me. I could feel her negative energy, but went on with the joys of finger painting, circle time, and recess. I also felt this same negative energy from my pediatric doctor. In both cases, I knew it was about them, and not me.
It was also at this tender age that a neighbor invited me to church. This was my first introduction to God, and did I love it! I soaked up that love like a sponge. It felt so good to my heart and soul. I studied the Bible and went to church many times a week. In the meantime, I still felt like an outsider to my family and classmates, often being teased about being a "goody two-shoe." This was a confusing message. I felt like a good and kind person, and couldn't see how being good was a bad thing. I quickly learned to keep my thoughts to myself. I didn't dare reveal that special part of myself (that sacred place) where deeper ideas, thoughts about life, God, and my personal internal journey lived. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, except at church, so I spent years enveloped in the joy I found when I attended.
Then, in my mid-20's, I chose to step away from the church. I felt the church's dogma no longer fit in with the God I knew deep in my heart and soul. I was asking a lot of questions about life at this point; mind you, this was an internal dialogue. Most of those around me knew very little about the nature of my thoughts. Not long after this I was introduced to the works of Brian Weiss, Neale Donald-Walsh, Esther and Jerry Hicks, Marianne Williamson, Jane Roberts, Depak Chopra, Glenda Greene, Iyanla Vanzant (and, so many, many more). This new information opened up a whole new world for me. What these authors shared about God (aka, The Universe, Source Energy, All-That-Is, etc.), was the God I knew in my heart-of-hearts. I wept at the "homecoming" I felt in these writings. I celebrated that others also shared my privately held, deep truth ... that God was and is Love. Period.
This marked a huge turning-point for me, and my journey into personal transformation took off. I could not read, use the practices taught, or work on areas of my life that needed healing and restoration enough. I became obsessed with transformation! Obsession is a bit of a strong word ... but, it well conveys my passion for finding peace, clarity and more joy through self-inquiry, study and personal growth. Mind you, I am mothering three, small children by this time, working 40+ hours, and commuting each week. Personal time is at a premium, but my questions of life are constant, so I the find time to read, or listen to audio tapes in between parenting, working and the duties of a household.
Fast-forward ... my children are now adults, and my parental responsibilities have been fulfilled. I am now a supportive partner in their adult journeys, and I'm ever-so grateful we are close, and very good friends. Now it is my time ... time to do the work I feel strongly "called" to do. Fortunately, age has taught me to feel less like an outsider, as well as care less what others think. I am honoring my soul's calling. I am bravely blazing my own trail. This does take guts, but I am certain the pay-off is deeply satisfying. As I step up and own my Divine gifts ... gifts of intuition (claircognizance), insight (clairvoyance), communication, teaching, and using the healing energies as Reiki Practitioner ... as well as a huge heart for people as a life coach and writer, I hope to inspire others to do the same in their own lives.
It is my complete knowing that one life transformed affects the world in a way that is undeniable,
and it is my heart-felt desire is to leave this world a better place for having been here.
and it is my heart-felt desire is to leave this world a better place for having been here.
